Combative mode...

Like most people, I have my good days and my bad days. Fortunately, my good days far outweigh my bad days. But I do know what it's like when the bad days keep piling up and everything becomes too much of a chore. When a couple of bad days turn into a week of bad days, into a month of bad days and all of a sudden you find yourself in a spot where nothing matters anymore. For me, that stopped when I said to myself 'enough is enough' and started talking with people, started taking more interest in the things around me. It wasn't easy; I had to force myself to do it.

Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They are wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can 'snap out of' by 'pulling yourself together'. Sometimes it takes a concerted effort of medication and therapy but there are things you can do to help yourself. If you are feeling depressed, don't struggle on. Talk to someone, anyone. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to fear. It's important to seek help from your doctor if you think you may be depressed. If you've been feeling low for more than a few days, take this short test to find out if you're depressed. Depression is quite common and affects about one in 10 of us at some point. It affects men and women, young and old.

Trying to find a diet to ease depression? Unfortunately, there's no specific diet that works for depression. No studies have been done that indicate a particular eating plan can ease symptoms of clinical depression. Still, while certain diets or foods may not ease depression (or put you instantly in a better mood), there is something to be said for a healthy diet in relation to mental health, as much as in relation to physical health. The healthier you feel, the more likely you are to go out and do something, which is the first step in dealing with, and overcoming, depression.

Damaging molecules, called free radicals, are produced in our bodies during normal body functions and these free radicals contribute to aging and dysfunction. Antioxidants such as beta-carotene and vitamins C and E combat the effects of free radicals. Antioxidants have been shown to tie up these free radicals and take away their destructive power. Studies show that the brain is particularly at risk for free radical damage. Although there's no way to stop free radicals completely, we can reduce their destructive effect on the body by eating foods rich in antioxidants as part of a healthy diet. Below is a list of foods that can help because of their antioxidants:

Apricots, Broccoli, Cantaloupe, Carrots, Collard Greens, Peaches, Pumpkin, Spinach, (Sweet) Potatoes, Blueberries, Grapefruit, Kiwi, Oranges, Peppers, Strawberries, Tomatoes, Nuts, Seeds, Wheat Germ, Whole Grains, Beans, Pulses, Peas, Lean Meat, Cheese, (Fatty) Fish, Milk and Yoghurt, Poultry, Soy, Seafood.

A bowl of yoghurt with some wheat germ, seasonal fruit (apricots, peaches, blueberries, strawberries) and flaxseeds or crushed brazil nuts makes a tasty breakfast. Top it with some grated dark chocolate (75% cocoa) for an extra boost in endorphins (the 'happy' hormone). Or replace the yoghurt with some cottage cheese or ricotta and whole grain bread or cracker bread. Have it with some freshly squeezed orange or grapefruit juice (with pulp) for an extra little lift.

For a light dinner try mixing some smoked mackerel with crumbly feta or young goats cheese, finely cubed red pepper and tomato, quinoa, couscous or chickpeas and some spinach that has been sauteed with one finely chopped onion and two cloves of minced garlic. Add loads of fresh herbs such as basil, thyme, oregano or mint to taste. For something that looks more filling, try adding a soft boiled egg or fried mushroom.

Fancy a snack, a pick-me-up, or a refreshing drink later on in the day? Try making a smoothie/milkshake with some fresh strawberries or blueberries, bananas, vanilla ice cream and some finely chopped pieces of dark chocolate (70% cocoa). Add in some wheat germs for a more filling drink.

This drink is full of antioxidants and endorphin increasing properties; brilliant if you are feeling 'a bit low'. Make sure that you drink plenty throughout the day (1.5 to 2 litre per day) but try to avoid great quantities of coffee and alcohol.

For a simple and quick tea, try this One Pot Pasta: add 350 gram pasta, 350 gram chopped tomatoes, chopped yellow pepper and finely sliced leeks, 1 finely chopped onion, 3 cloves of grated garlic, pepper and paprika and oregano or thyme (to taste), 2 sprigs of basil, a good splash of olive oil, 1 stock cube (vegetable or chicken) and 750 millilitre of water to a large pan. (Yes, one pan.) Bring to a boil on medium to high heat, stirring regularly. Once it comes to the boil, cook for a further 10 minutes whilst stirring. By the time the pasta is cooked it will have taken on all the flavour and the water should be reduced to form a nice sauce. Serve with some grated cheese and fresh basil. If you want to use wholemeal pasta, cook the pasta for slightly longer.

No meal is complete without a dessert and there are some wonderful options out there. One of my favourites combines sweet potato and pecans but you could substitute the sweet potato for pumpkin, if you want.

Sweet Potato Pie with Pecan Crumble

Ingredients:
For the pie crust

• 150 gram self-raising flour
• ½ teaspoon sugar
• 115 gram butter
• 2 tablespoons ice water

For the filling

• 700 gram (2-3) sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 5 centimetre chunks
• 2 large eggs
• 60 grams of light brown soft sugar
• 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 175 millilitre double cream

For the topping

• 100 gram light brown soft sugar
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 125 gram pecans
• 1 tablespoon double cream

Method:

For the pie crust

1. In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar, salt and butter and mix until the mixture resembles coarse breadcrumbs (it's okay if some of the butter is still slightly bigger in size)
2. Add the ice cold water and bring the dough together, add some more water if necessary (one teaspoon at a time) until the dough is crumbly but holds together when you squeeze it
3. Turn the dough onto some clingfilm, pat it down to a disk, cover with more clingfilm and leave to rest in the fridge for at least one hour
4. After one hour, place the dough on a floured piece of baking paper and roll the dough out to a 35 centimetre circle
• use your knuckles to press the edges of the dough firmly to prevent the dough from cracking when you roll it out
5. Pick up the baking paper and flip it over onto a 23 centimetre pie plate or flan dish and gently fit the dough into the bottom and along the sides of the dish, being careful not to stretch or tear the dough, before removing the baking paper
6. Trim the dough to a 2½ centimetre overhang and crimp this to form a rim
7. Prick the bottom of the pie crust all over with a fork and place in the fridge to cool for another hour
8. Preheat the oven to 180ºC, place the pie crust in the centre of the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until the crust is firm and golden and leave to cool completely

For the filling

1. Cover the sweet potatoes with water in a large pan, bring to a boil and cook until the potatoes are tender (about 15 minutes)
2. Drain the potatoes, puree in a food processor until completely smooth and leave to cool completely
3. Preheat the oven to 190ºC
4. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, the brown sugar and maple syrup until smooth
5. Add the sweet potato puree, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and cream and whisk until completely smooth
6. Pour the filling into the fully cooled pie crust and bake on the lowest rack in the oven for about 50 minutes or until the filling is set
• transfer the pie to a cooling rack after baking to cool for one hour, then place in the fridge to cool completely

For the topping

1. In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat and add the sugar and pecans
2. Cook the mixture until the sugar is fully dissolved and the mixture is 'smooth' (this will take about 3 minutes)
3. Stir in the tablespoon of cream and leave to cool for a couple of minutes
4. Pour the pecan mixture over the cooled pie and spread it evenly out with a knife or spatula
5. Leave the pie to cool for about 30 minutes until the topping has hardened
• Do not place the pie back into the fridge but leave it in a cool place for up to 6 hours (if you last that long...)

You might feel as if you are all alone in the world, but trust me when I say: 'You are not, there are people who know and understand exactly how you feel. Talk to them.'. The food I have mentioned will not magically 'cure' your depression but it might help you to feel better, more capable, more energetic. It will not happen overnight but stick with it.

Tea made from St John's Wort has been proven to help with depressions and might be helpful for you. If you would like to try this, make sure to discuss it with your doctor as the herb does affect some medications. It might also be a good idea to discuss a drastic change in your diet with your doctor as this could have implications for people with certain illnesses such as diabetes.

I won't end this post with my usual 'Enjoy' (although the food is very enjoyable) but with this: If you are feeling depressed, or have been diagnosed with clinical depression, talk to people about it. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Be safe, take care of yourself, trust in your abilities.

'Keeping it real'

When I think of comfort food, my immediate thought is pasta. From there on in I don't really mind what type of pasta; any will do... Spaghetti, lasagna, macaroni, or any other type you can think of.

What goes with the pasta is more difficult. There just are so many choices. Just the base of the sauce can provide me with a delicious challenge. Which is quickly followed by: 'Do I want a lot of sauce or just enough to coat that pasta?'. In the end there are only three pasta dishes that really bring me the comfort that I want. And one of them makes most people question my sanity.

If I am 'down and out' and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry, one pasta dish is sure to save me. And yes, I am quite sane. Don't knock it till you tried it. Macaroni with sugar, butter and cinnamon. Boil the macaroni, drain, add a decent knob of butter, sugar and cinnamon to taste, mix and let the butter melt to create the 'sauce', get the biggest spoon that fits your mouth and start shoveling... Okay, I might just have lost some (more) of my sanity...

The second one will help me when the days are turning grey, when I am not quite feeling myself and when work is starting to get to me. Pasta Romesco; a sauce based on roasted red peppers. The last one, however, will get me over just about anything: work, heartache (haven't had that in a long time), general sadness, dreary weather. But I will eat it whenever I fancy. No 'special' occasion required... Spaghetti alla Carbonara.

Now, I would love to tell you that this is an ancient dish eaten by the lonely shepherds in Italy how would carry pasta with them, make the cheese there and then and only used bacon, pancetta or guanciale if they had it. I can't. I would love to tell you that it is an 'ancient' dish that was eaten by the carbonaro (charcoal miners) or that it was created as a tribute to the Carbonari (the secret society of 'charcoal men'), but I can't. Most likely it was just an urban dish from Rome. Nobody knows for sure. The romantic in me says the lonely shepherds or the charcoal miners. The more sensible part of me says: 'I don't care, I'm just glad someone gave me a taste of it.'. You can make up your own mind.

So, however you are feeling at this moment, have a go at one of my most favourite pasta dishes. It'll lift the spirits! And with the recipe below, you are hard pressed to create a dish that disappoints. Authentically you use Spaghetti for this but I like to use pasta like Rigatoni as the sauce holds better because of all the ridges and Conchiglie as this can hold the sauce and pieces of bacon...

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

Ingredients:

• 225 gram (uncooked) pasta
• 4 large fresh eggs (you can use only the yolks for a more intense flavour or use 2 whole eggs and 2 yolks or use all 4 eggs whole)
• 225 gram pancetta, bacon or guanciale (Italian cured pork cheek or jowl), cut into 1 centimetre cubes
• 180 gram grated cheese (parmesan, pecorino, cheddar - which ever one, two or combination you have or like)
• Freshly cracked black pepper
• Salt (to taste, if necessary)

Method:

1. Bring plenty of salted water (it should taste like the sea) to a boil
2. Add the pasta, return to the boil, and cook for 8-10 minutes or until 'al dente' (cooked but still firm when bitten)
3. In the mean time, heat a large frying pan or skillet over medium heat
4. Add the bacon to the frying pan and fry for about 3 minutes or until the meat is crispy and most of the fat has rendered out
• remove the frying pan from the heat
5. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs and the cheese until well combined
6. As soon as the pasta is cooked, reserve about 100 millilitre of the cooking water and drain the rest of the water off
7. Return the frying pan to medium heat and add half of the reserved pasta water to the pan when the pan is hot
8. Toss the pasta into the frying pan and, whilst moving the pan continuously, wait until the bubbling subsides
• most of the water will evaporate
9. Remove the pan from the heat and add the egg mixture, stirring quickly until the eggs thicken
• the residual heat in the pan will cook the eggs but work quickly to prevent the eggs from scrambling
• if the sauce seems too thick, thin it out with a little bit more of the reserved pasta water
10. Season liberally with freshly cracked black pepper
• taste before you add any salt: depending on the kind of pork used, it may not need any salt

Following this recipe you should never have any problems cooking the perfect pasta dish. 

Although traditionally nothing else is added (and in my book you never add cream) you can fry a little onion and garlic with the bacon if you so desire. The best eggs to use are free range, organic eggs - in this case I would only use the yolks to really taste the eggs. If you can find guanciale, please use it: you will be surprised at the difference this will make. Use whatever type of pasta you want (have lying around) but try to avoid fresh pasta as the sauce will not stick to it as easily as to the dried varieties.

Whether you use bacon or pancetta, free range or dozen-a-dime eggs, cheap or expensive pasta; this dish is great!

As they say in Italy:

Mangia Mangia

Or as I like to say:

Please, eat!

Ooh, a little twist

Earlier today I was having a chat with two of the loveliest ladies I have ever had the pleasure to meet. (Tina and Beverley, you know I am talking about you...) The three of us have a couple of things in common: we are all reasonably old-fashioned in our way of thinking, are all just a tad crazy and are all super smart... In the space of half an hour we chatted about hats, to having a party, to party-poopers, to old-fashioned foods such as deviled eggs and tuna casserole, to husband-bashing (regardless where they are, if something goes wrong they are to blame)...

At the mention of fish, all three of us independently decided that since fish was brought up in the chat we all of a sudden had a craving for fish for our tea... Fish and Tartare Sauce (nearly there for a gorgeous fish finger sandwich), Fish with mash and peas (getting close to the perfect fish pie)... But I couldn't decide on what I fancied. That was until I saw the lasagna sheets in the kitchen cupboard. At this point in time I decided that I just had to have Italian Fish Pie...

It's been nearly 20 years since I first tried this recipe. And it wasn't even a proper recipe, more like an idea in my head that I thought would work. People who know me, know that I love pasta but I am not keen on traditional lasagna as this comes with a minced-meat-and-tomato based sauce... Nothing wrong with it but I am just not that keen on the texture. But I did like the idea of layers of pasta with a rich sauce, Béchamel, vegetables and cheese. Then again, anything drenched in cheese is alright in my book...

It was then that I decided to try the standard old lasagna with fish instead. As the fish wouldn't be able to stand up to the rich tomato sauce I decided to leave this out and just use a good white sauce instead. It was an instant success and over the years I have made many variations with different types of fish and seafood, vegetables and cheeses but always sticking to the same principal; layers of pasta, good white sauce, fresh fish, seasonal vegetables and good cheese. Besides the fresh fish, I also like to use some smoked fish, like natural smoked haddock, for that little extra something. Although many variations are possible, here follows my 'standard' version as I like to call it

Italian Fish Pie

Ingredients:

• 250 gram fresh cod (cut into bite sized pieces)
• 250 gram salmon (cut into bite sized pieces)
• 250 gram smoked haddock (cut into bite sized pieces)
• enough lasagna sheets to make four layers (use dried pasta as fresh will overcook in the time it takes to cook the fish)
• 500 gram fresh spinach, washed and dried
• 4 soft-boiled eggs (optional)
• 50 grams butter
• 50 grams flour
• enough milk to make a medium thick sauce
• 4 spring onions, very finely chopped (optional)
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced (optional)
• salt, pepper and nutmeg to taste
• 100 grams grated cheddar cheese
• 1 ball of mozzarella

Method:

1. Use the butter, flour and milk to make the medium thick Sauce Béchamel (white sauce) and season with salt, pepper and nutmeg
• For extra flavour add the finely chopped spring onion and minced garlic to the butter before you add the flour
2. Preheat the oven to 180ºC
3. Add a little sauce to the bottom of a large, rectangular, ovenproof dish
4. Place lasagna sheets on top of the sauce, enough to fill the dish lengthwise (don't worry if you need to overlap the sheets slightly)
5. Divide the fish into three even portions and place the first portion on top of the lasagna sheets
6. Divide the spinach into three even portions and place the first portion on top of the fish
7. Cover the fish and spinach with the sauce and repeat steps 4 to 6 two more times
• If you are using the eggs, peel the eggs, cut into half and place them on top of the spinach after the second layer
8. After the third layer of pasta, fish, spinach and sauce; place the last layer of lasagna sheets on top and cover with the rest of the white sauce
9. Sprinkle the cheddar over the lasagna and tear the mozzarella on top of the cheddar
10. Bake the lasagna in the middle of the oven for about 20-25 minutes

For an extra luxurious filling try adding some prawns or other shellfish or add some ricotta to every layer. The vegetables can be adjusted to what is readily available or personal preference but I would stick with green vegetables such as broccoli and spinach.

Enjoy